dushamoya (dushamoya) wrote in catholics,

Question about attending a non Catholic wedding

I think I jave read in a few places where it's advised that Catholics should not attend the weddings of non Catholics. I'm not certain how dead set this is, and if it is indeed the case I will follow it, I'm still a bit hazy on all the reasoning. I *think* it's something along the lines of pretty much not advocating the idea of a true marriage outside the Church.

The reason I ask about it is that my husband has a close friend who looks as though he may get married soon. This particular friend, while on board with a lot of Catholic belief, is not yet confirmed, and since the start of this relationship, the prospects of him getting confirmed seem to get smaller and smaller. He was a groomsman for our wedding, and has been really close with my husband for almost ten years now.

The relationship is no where near the Catholic ideal. The woman, while a *good* girl and someone I can easily love as our friend's choice, is not religious and perhaps doesn't even believe in God. She has a two children, each from a different relationship. She and one of the children (one is with its father) moved in with our friend soon after the relationship began, and our friend and his g/f are pretty open about the fact that they are having premarital sex. Our friend even told me once, when I asked about him getting confirmed that he "will after he gets married, because he doesn't want to stop doing what he is now". This pains me. He was SO CLOSE before, but has now adopted a lot of her mentalities. He knows how my husband and I feel about they're living together and everything else. He knows we both feel this is a terribly unwise relationship.

That being said, he also knows we still love the two of them, and we try to give appropriate advice/support when asked for, and we continue to pray for them. What has me worried is that, since the two will probably get married, I can forsee both my husband and me being asked to participate in the wedding party. I feel as though this would be wrong. I'm not sure if my husband would automatically agree. I know that if we refuse, it could potentially seriously damage our relationship with this couple. I don't want that. I feel like we are a good example for them, and we love them.

Am I right in thinking we shouldn't be a part of the wedding party? If so, please give me some back up so I can present this to my husband. The idea of it doesn't sit well in my gut.

Thank you so much!
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